Image may contain: 8 people, people smiling, people standing

I have asked eminent social psychologist and hand signal specialist the emeritus best-selling novelist & complete figment of my imagination, the Professor I.C. Patterns, to examine the above photo and tell us more about the characters by simply looking at their hands. He studied this photo carefully, and came up with several theories.  First, he cropped the photo to show only the hands. (Fig. 1). Note how the people in front of the man in the rear have colluded to exclude him from the photo. From this angle, he and his tiny hands completely disappear. Only the hands of the others remain.

hand signals

Fig. 1

Professor Patterns states: Here we can see a clear pattern – four people with interlocking hands and two with their hands loosely at their sides. The dangling hands imply that the person is unsure of exactly why he/she is in this photo and is striving to project a “relax, I just wandered onto the set” look. The two men with interlocking hands are protecting something. Both sets of hands exclude their neighbors and form barriers around them. Of the two women, the one on the far left is twiddling her thumbs – boredom and a streak of rebellion are showing. The woman in the green jacket is not sure whether to pray or clench her fists. She is making the international sign for “I am surrounded by idiots get me out of here.” She is, however, stuck.

The Professor then diagramed the heads of these people, using their hands to project their subconsciousness upon their heads. The result (Fig. 2) is fascinating.

hand signals hats

Fig. 2

As you can see, the results range from wannabe queens to wannabe rock stars. Among them is a man who would like to take over the world Viking style, someone who wants to just sit home and listen to music, an angel, and a devil. One woman wants to be a queen. The other still has delusions of being a princess. You can see most everyone’s hands. Professor Patterns believes the devil has his hands on someone else’s butt.

In Fig. 3, things become even more clear, as Professor Patterns extrapolates hand signals into actual thought patterns. It makes for an interesting study.

hand signals heads

Fig. 3

Now we see that these people have nothing in common. Professor Patterns thinks this bodes ill for any sort of international cooperation or coordination. The woman on the far left has alienated herself from the rest of the group. The man on the far right is sunnily optimistic, but Professor Patterns fears he may be Naive. The woman in green is pessimistic, leading Professor Patterns to state that she is probably the most lucid person in the group. The man in the rear is obsessed with nothing but money. The three men to his right (to our left) are showing outright disbelief and most likely have seen the man in the rear patting his daughter’s butt. His daughter – the wannabe princess aka “Floozy” is trying to project a professional, woman of the world who succeeded by pulling herself up by her father’s bootstraps without anyone’s help image  but instead is projecting the empty-headed ‘blond syndrome’, and the disconnect, according to Professor Patterns, will probably cause her to snap and murder someone very soon.

Thank you, Professor Patterns. 

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