Get into shape, I said to myself. I really have to start watching my language. So my daughter, who is now into jogging, offers to take me for a run. “Today,” she said, “we’ll start slow. fifteen minutes jogging, OK?”
It sounded about right, until I actually had to put my sneakers on and headed out.
Day One. Jogging. 7:30 pm and still about 90° out.
Off we went; down the road to the park, then started to jog. We ran through the park, down the wooden walkway to the river, then along the river. Seven minutes went by as I gasped and puffed and gasped some more. Julia ran on ahead of me – a little sprite, not the least bit out of breath.
My face was tomato red, my legs were aching, my brain was telling me stories about people who had gone out for a run and dropped dead. I slowed down and stopped. I’d jogged for seven minutes. (Puff, puff, puff…) I got a little wind back and jogged some more. Seven more minutes, I told myself. You can do this. Jog. Walk. Jog. Walk.I was distracted by the sights. I saw: A fisherman, six swans, a family of ducks with five adorable ducklings, two bikers, three dogs walkers. A group of joggers runs by. “Don’t stop!” yells one man. “It’s not over yet!”
I tried. I trotted on a few more steps (tottered along). You know you have to stop when the river starts looking inviting. I was so hot, the water looked so cool (and green and deep and full of swans and ducks…) So I walked the rest of the way home. Julia had waited for me.
Julia is now telling Stephane “You should see how mom runs,” and she laughs.
What?? She says I bounce too much.
Well, of course I do. I have about twenty pounds of chubby wubby fat bouncing.
Wait. No. She says I bounce because I jog with big steps. I should not move my knees so much.
Question – how does one jog without moving one’s knees? I tried, and now I run like a duck.
I stayed under the shower for ages. Now I’m sitting in front of the fan. We run every two days, Julia informs me. So day after tomorrow is day 2. I wonder if I will survive?